Thursday, August 8, 2013

Normal is Overrated

There are certain areas in life where our family would be considered less than normal.  I'm okay with that.  Some areas are because of our adoption issues.  Most of the time I find that if I make a change around here because of one of those issues, it ends up being a change I probably should have made even without the adoption issues.

We don't do television commercials.  Actually, we don't really do television either.  We don't have one at home.  At least not one that gets channels.  We do have one to play videos on, but that's all.  We don't do radio either.  I know.  We're downright weird.

Why?  Because songs, visuals and commercial jingles can take my kids places they don't want to go.  Have you ever had a song come on the radio and you can remember exactly where you were when you heard it for the first time?  Or maybe you see something on TV that takes you back to a memory from years ago.  

When you live without childhood trauma, walking down memory lane is no big deal.  When your childhood was a mess of neglect and abuse, memory lane is not where you want to spend your time.

I will admit, at first it was kinda hard.  I liked winding down in the evenings and watching some shows.  I liked watching the news in the morning and knowing what the weather was going to do that day.  But a few television shows and the weather forecast were not worth the nightmares or icky memories they caused.  My girls are just more important.

So I look a little strange to the rest of the world.  I'm used to that.  It doesn't hurt me any.  It's worth it to give my girls peaceful nights of sleep and days filled with the life they live now and not the ones they used to live.  

It's not that we are avoiding the past.  We deal with things as they come and the older two have come to terms with what was and are thankful for what is.  But that doesn't mean we have to hold it up in front of our faces every day.

So we'll enjoy our DVDs and CDs.  It's not that we can't watch or listen to things, it's just that we're really selective about what goes in our eyes and ears.  After all, as Philippians 4:8 tells us, "whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Have you ever really graded your television shows or radio songs according to that verse.  I have.  It made me really think about what I was spending my time watching and listening too.  I'm thankful my kids made me rethink what I was allowing into our home.  It wasn't always pure and lovely and of virtue.  Did I really want to be comfortable watching and listening to things that didn't fit God's standards?  It was a tough break, but I'm so thankful we made it.  What we were watching and listening to wasn't good for the girls and, truth be told, it wasn't good for me either.

So, no we're not normal.  And as I said before, some of it is because of adoption, but some is just because we evaluated our entertainment according to what is best for our family.  We're thankful for our media limits.  No normal there, but normal is overrated anyway.

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