Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Others Can Sometime See What I Cannot

Time.  That's been my problem lately.  There's just not enough time in the day to do all the things I need to do, all the things I want to do and all the things that come up suddenly.

So I'm learning to prioritize.  

And my number one priority has to be my kids.  These three girls that God has entrusted to me are more important than the laundry.  They're more important than my schedule.  They're just more important.

So what am I supposed to do?  After all, we enjoy clean clothes and people around here like to eat.  

A little simplicity will go along way. 

Sometimes, like this week, I have to cut out all the extras.  When I have a new one within the first two years of an adoption, keeping it simple is the name of the game.  I'm not always good at it, and to be honest, I've been downright terrible at it since our big move in June.

But starting this week, I'm focusing on doing it well.

So I say no to some things.  That doesn't mean I can't say yes to other things.  I just have to choose which ones are right for our family.

Yesterday I said yes to the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio.  It was fun.  We ate lunch in the cafe, watched the imax movie, and walked around looking at the planes.  It was just the four of us, and after a busy summer filled with family and projects, just the four of us was what we needed.  

Remember my supervision issues?  Those issues become very intense when surrounded by a lot of people.  I was doing a very poor job of carving out chunks of time for training and guiding Amy.  Instead I was putting her on the back burner as I tried to keep a lot of balls in the air.  Let's just say I'm a terrible juggler.  

Did I realize how bad I was at it?  No.  Someone who loves me very much took the time to let me know.  And I appreciate that.  I appreciate that they care about me.  I appreciate that they care about Amy.  I appreciate that they said something even if it was going to hurt my feelings.  Even if maybe they didn't understand the situation completely.  I still am going to be thankful.

If you are living through the early years of an adoption, be open to what others have to say.  Not those things that urge you to give up, but those things that you might be missing.  Maybe your words have become harsh because you feel like you're parenting a kid who is never going to "get it."  Maybe you've become distant because your emotions are not matching how you thought you would feel?  Maybe you're just tired.

Others may not understand completely, but they may be able to give you some insight into some of those blindspots you no longer see.

That's what happened to me this week.  It was very hard to hear.  It was humbling to say the least.  But I'm so thankful for family willing to say the hard things and love us anyway.  

As I've been known to tell my girls, "Don't let it make you mad, let it make you better."

This week I'm attempting to let it make me better.

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