Tuesday, October 1, 2013

I Want to Be Intentional

Did she ever finish telling me about her phone conversation with her friend in Texas?

Did I answer the question she asked about math?

Did I hug her today?



I'm a busy mom. I am. I admit it. Things slip through the cracks.

I'm not as busy as I used to be, when the girls were younger, needier and, in some cases, meaner. But my daily to-do list is still relatively long.

I love my list. I really, really do. I'm the gal who has it handy and is constantly adding to it. There's a lot to do around here and if it doesn't make it onto my list it will never get checked off.  

Checking things off is my favorite part. Sometimes, if I do something that wasn't on my list, I will write it on my list just so I can immediately check it off. Sometimes I do that. Sometimes a lot.

I've come to a realization. Hannah is sixteen. Yikes. How did that happen? Ashley is fifteen. Yikes times two.  

Thankfully, Amy is eleven. Sigh of relief.

My time with my older girls is flying by. I'm not sure where it is going, but it's getting there fast. Too fast. I need to use what time I have left well. Very well.

I spend lots and lots of time with my kids. They are with me all day and every day. We love to hang out with one another. We love to be a team. It's not that we're not together, it's all about evaluating how we spend our time together. 

My new favorite word is intentional. It means done on purpose, designed or planned. It means a decision is made, an action is taken.  

I want to be an intentional mom.

I want to be an intentional daughter.

I want to be an intentional sister.

I want to be an intentional granddaughter.

I want to be an intentional neighbor.

I want to be an intentional follower of Jesus.

Intentional. I want that word to define me. I want it to ooze out of me like the filling in a donut oozes out onto your hand when you bite into the other side. I want it to make a mess and get on everything, like the sticky that is ever present on my kitchen counters.

Yes, like that.

But how do I do that? How do I make my days intentional?  

That's the journey I'm on. That's the direction I'm heading. I'm just starting out. I feel as if I've just turned a corner. I've spent the last seven years learning a whole lot about how not to walk this road of older child adoption. My lessons have mostly come from trial and error. 

Who am I kidding? Mostly error.

But I serve a gracious God. I serve a faithful God. And when I fell, He came to my rescue. When I faltered, He was by my side.  

I was treading water in the shallow end of the pool where I could still touch. Making my days harder than they needed to be.  

I want to be done with that. Starting today.

After all, I have far too many blessings for that.

Today I stop just getting through the day. Today I stop wishing for bedtime to come sooner. Today I stop dreading my time on the couch surrounded by my three favorite people, knee-deep in our world history book.

Because today I'm going to be intentional with my words, my actions, and my time.

Let's get started!

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