Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Welcome to Crazytown

I don't think I can adequately describe the craziness that ensues when a new one moves in.  When adopting an older child, you're never quite ready for the steps you take back.  

Back into Crazytown.

Welcome to my life.

We've almost reached the city limits.  We're almost coming out on the other side.  

But not yet.  


So today I still live there.

In Crazytown I spend the majority of my time just trying to keep everybody together. And honest. And kind. And quiet. Mostly quiet. 

Just kidding. Kinda.

In this season for Amy that's okay. It's okay to be quiet and listen to how others respond to one another. It's okay to learn to speak with kind, honest words. It's okay to spend your time observing those who are modeling what it means to be a good friend and what it means to have appropriate relationships. It's okay.

But isn't this just behavior modification? Are you just making her look good on the outside? 

What about her heart? Isn't that most important?

Yes, I agree 100%.  On all counts.

Changing her behavior is the name of the game in the beginning. It would be nice if, while she is throwing a screaming fit on the floor, I could nicely ask her to stop and she would actually stop. But I've never found success with that strategy. 

Instead, I've always had to find something that she would rather avoid to get her to stop the screaming.

I've successfully used the same thing three times. I'll talk about that tomorrow.

Today just know that Crazytown is a temporary address.  I live here for about two years each time. Because that's how long it has taken me to get past modifying her behavior and into her heart.

The day she listens to me just because I asked and not because the consequences will be unpleasant is a great day.  It's the day we get to pack up the moving truck and head on out of Crazytown.

It's not that far away. We can see it on the horizon. Everyday brings us closer. 

Maybe I should go ahead and reserve the moving truck.

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