Tuesday, July 22, 2014

I Didn't Know How Great It Would Be

I thought I knew what it was going to be like. I thought I understood the difficulties and was prepared for what awaited me. I thought I had this adoption thing wrapped up.

I didn't.

What awaited me was intense and difficult. It blindsided me. I was shocked and uncertain. I almost threw in the towel. Those were some hard days.

I write about those days a lot. Those stories are the ones that help others the most. Knowing you're not in this alone, knowing others have struggled down the road you are on is a help. It was to me and I'm thankful that my stories may be a help to others.

But there's something else I didn't know.

I didn't know how great it was all going to eventually get.

I didn't know the hard was going to end. I didn't know these girls were going to take over my pantry and shoe rack and heart.

I didn't know that when the difficult days ended, amazing ones would begin.

What do amazing days look like?

They look like breakfast conversations that last until lunch.
They look like read alouds on the couch.
They look like laughter and hugs and smiles.

They look like sisters. Because they are.

I might not have been able to see these amazing days coming, but I'm so thankful they are here.

When I started the journey I thought the amazing days would come immediately. When they didn't, I lost hope that they would ever come at all.

Truth be told, when the days got long and hard I no longer waited for the days to get better. I started waiting for the day she would leave. I wasn't expecting to ever get to good days, I was expecting to eventually run out of days.

That's only because I didn't know how great it was going to be.

I'm no longer looking forward to the day they leave. I'm treasuring every day they're still here.

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