Thursday, March 24, 2016

Far From Perfect

She graduates in May.  I can't believe it.


Seems like yesterday and forever since she moved into my world like a firecracker.

She was hard to handle and I did it all wrong.

But God is gracious and kind and gives second chances (and third and fifteenth and one hundredth, etc.)

I held on to her through the worst days of my life because I wanted to see how it would turn out.  I knew me, and I knew if I gave her back I would always wonder who she could have been.

Turns out she's pretty remarkable. But I might be bias.

Being a mom is hard work. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but that doesn't make it easy.  I spend my days filling the needs of the ones God has entrusted to me and I'm thankful.  And tired.

I make breakfast and grade math papers and find shoes. I buy way too many rolls of paper towels because somehow there is always something sticky somewhere in this house. I kiss hurts and clean faces and run the dishwasher more often than I should because I can't remember if it's clean or dirty.

I'm sure I'm the only one with the dishwasher issue.

All of that is the easy part. That's the part I'm good at. That's the part where I excel.

But then there's the parts I do all wrong. The parts that make me second guess myself or feel ill-equipped for the task before me. These are usually the most important parts.

Things like speaking in a gentle tone and correcting in love and modeling Christ-like character often allude me.

I've spent a decade making mistakes. She's spent a decade watching me.

But do you know what?

She loves Jesus and serves Him with her whole heart.

That's it.

End of story.

I have no idea how. I look back and see my broken path. I see the mistakes and the sin and the stains.

But Jesus changes everything.

He changed me. He changed her.

Hannah's high school years are wrapping up. She's consulted the One who knows her best and has directed her steps. She's chosen a path that will eventually lead her to serve others who are walking the road of foster care. She's excited and ready.

She won't do it perfectly, but that's okay because she won't be alone.  He walks with her and picks her up when she falls so she can try again.

Just like her mom.


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